I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
