hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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