I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize