Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I need to wash the frat house off of me
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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