Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
