i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
