Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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