I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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