my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize