I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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