My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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