We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
