I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
