So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
