am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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