he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
