i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
she was so not down for the gang bang
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
