Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
