dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
As shirtless as possible
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
