something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
