OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
