The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I will be naked everywhere
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
