You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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