bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
