Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
