she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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