she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Help. Why am I so naked?
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