what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
