I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
