An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
