..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I cannot find my penis.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize