u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
