I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I am one with the molecules
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize