This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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