I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
