i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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