What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
they're like a gay fantastic four
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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