Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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