lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize