I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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