i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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