We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
