I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize