is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
