All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Floor bacon is actually really good
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
