____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
