no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize