I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
