Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
