Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
