Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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