I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
