I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
