Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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