...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
