I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
