We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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