If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
