What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
