I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
