Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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