I am puke
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
