If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
