so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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