He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
