AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
