It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
