im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
