i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
