I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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