you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
