i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
