Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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