life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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