It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize