I like my sex mixed with concussions.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
