the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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