we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
