who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
