I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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